Saturday, May 14, 2016

A Different Kind of Banking

At the sperm bank, after I spend a half hour filling out ALL the paperwork, an older woman in a white lab coat takes me upstairs, past two offices where two women sit doing officey things, to a small, spare, red room. She hands me a small plastic jar, pulls a sheet of paper over the reclining chair, and leaves me to it, closing the ill-fitting door behind her.

At one end of the room lurks a TV/DVD player (with several scandalous DVDs next to it), sitting on a shelf of old, rumpled skin magazines from the previous decade - Playboys, Penthouses, Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues - and a box of tissues.

The thought of trying to "obtain a sample" while going through these old, pawed over magazines seems a little skeezy, and the DVDs seem a little weird, what with the ladies just down the hall, and no indication in the room of any gesture toward soundproofing, so, after some thought, I pull my headphones out of my bag, plug them into my phone, and tap in my unlock code to get started.

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