Kinda True

"It turns out we've got plenty of software licenses for Adobe Acrobat," my boss says, "so if you ask IT to install a copy on my machine, I won't have to send you these documents to convert all the time."

"Sure, no problem," I say. "I'll just have to find job security some other way."

She laughs (but does she think it's funny?).

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One year ago today: Barking at Midnight

Two years ago today: Nostalgia

Know Return (Been Here Before)

"Siri, play 'The Point of Know Return' by Kansas," I say into my phone. The dog tentatively makes her way down from stair to stair like an unseen current is about to sweep her away.

At the bridge of the song ("Your father, he says he needs you/Your mother, she says she loves you") my heart swells up inside me, and I stop on the stairs, longing for the life of adventure the songs sing about, even though I know they're all lies and fantasies someone made up.

I consider the playlist I'd create of songs that use that metaphor, so common in rock and pop music for the last few decades, and I wish for big strong wings on my back, while the dog stares out the front door thinking of nothing at all.
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One year ago today: Neutrality
Two years ago today: All Things Considered
Three years ago today: Paris, je t'adore
Six years ago today: 11/29/10 Even kids aren't really that much of an accomplishment

Happy Monday

"I'm just, I could work harder, and I don't, because I'm lazy." I'm standing at the door, feeling sorry for myself, while the dog stares down the stairwell like a prisoner going to the chair. My chest is a half-inflated, wet balloon

"It's the first Monday after a holiday," Katie says, shrugging, "so nobody really worked that hard today."
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One year ago today: Too Real
Two years ago today: The Day After
Three years ago today: Bloody Soil
Five years ago today: 11/28/11 new cat
Six years ago today: 11/28/10 Falling

Teaching a Worldview

"But why are you so focused on that?" asks dad, balding, long drooping face.

"Because I love butterflies," his daughter says, but she knows she's already lost, and now she's questioning, not whether or not she should get a butterfly for herself, but why she likes butterflies at all.

"I just don't know why you're so focused on that," he says as he takes her by the hand. "And besides, your brother and sister will probably destroy it, anyway."
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One year ago today: All I Want for Christmas
Two years ago today: Save Us From What We Deserve
Three years ago today: Life Skills
Six years ago today (Katie says "You're still really bad at Mario. It's uncanny."): 11/27/10 We tend to do better at parallel play

Maybe a Little Offense

The five-year-old girl's eyes widen as she catches sight of the atlas moth. "It is very big," she says.

"It's as big as your head!" I say.

She considers my teasing for a moment before turning to me and saying fiercely, "No offense taken!"

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Two years ago today: Shame

Three years ago today: Check Your Bags (And Your Privilege)

Six years ago today: 11/26/10 it was delicious (they tell me)

Welcome Home

New York City near the airport has all the harsh lighting and industrial construction of a dystopian landscape, and I say as much to Katie on the cab ride home.

"It's like that around all airports, isn't it?" she replies, smiling, and I agree before I go back to staring out the window.

After the cool, dry air of the Nevada desert, New York feels like a rainforest. We climb out of the cab at our apartment and I can feel my pores widen and drink in the humidity like a thirsty man leaping into a river.
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One year ago today: Strained
Two years ago today: My Family
Three years ago today: The Elusive Glasses Are Somehow My Fault
Six years ago today: 11/25/10 everyone

Sweet With Teeth

"Everybody was lined up to get some meat, and your mom kind of snuck around the other end and asked for the end piece," my brother-in-law says at the end of the night. The kid has been put to sleep, the dishes all washed, the leftovers gathered up and resting in their plastic beds in the fridge. "I gave it to her, and she said, 'Now everybody can have whatever they want.'"

"She's sweet," my sister says thoughtfully.
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One year ago today: What Good Are You?
Two years ago today: Scenes From the Class War in Park Slope, Brooklyn
Three years ago today: Tales from High School
Six years ago today: 11/24/10 Who really runs this joint.