Contrast

"What were you going to say about that couple in front of us in the coat check line?" Katie asks as we walk to our train through the bitter cold of the Upper West Side.

"Oh, I was just going to say I never could understand why attractive girls ended up going out with skeevy guys," I say, measuring my long strides so she can keep up. "I mean, that guy was seriously rat-faced."

"Oh, I was thinking just the opposite," Katie said as she wrapped her coat tighter around her. "I thought he had potential, but she looked rode hard and put away wet."

Prescient

The wind is really picking up, swirling light snow around me and the dog as we take our morning walk. 

The dog sniffs around a tree checking the news like she does. From behind us, half a block away and on the other side of the intersection, an old man yells, "Curb your damn dog!"

I turn around, but nobody is looking at us, so I shrug and turn back to the dog, to find her squatting in the middle of the sidewalk, taking a dump.

Do You Like Piña Coladas?

The newest tube of shaving cream turns out to be "coconut mango" scented, and possibly for ladies? I figured it would be fine when I bought it, but the scent is pretty strong, it turns out.

I bring it into the bedroom for confirmation just as Katie is waking up, and shove it under her nose while she sits up in bed,.

"It smells like a free Jamaican vacation," she says, blinking blearily and squinting at the world.

Overexplaining

My grandfather's shearling jacket has lost every one of its buttons, and there is no way that I'm going through the next couple of days without my heaviest coat, so I run downstairs to take it across the street to the laundry to see if they can sew the buttons back on, and maybe clean it.

I run into my downstairs neighbor on my way out and he's coming in.  "I'm just getting this cleaned," I say for some reason, indicating the jacket. He smiles pleasantly, but it's clear he's wondering why I'm telling him.

Bored

I push the pen up and down the page, sketching this woman's head so I don't have to die of boredom in this lecture. She's sitting in front of me, this woman, and the gentle waves of her short, respectable grey hair form perfect S's which I conscientiously draw.

The folds of her sweater, and the shadows that hide between the folds, are a different matter, but I get a pretty good facsimile down.

I tilt the drawing towards my co-worker, who is sitting next to me, and she gives it a glance and smiles dutifully.

Whatcha Thinking?

I'm walking back from the subway after work, the same route I always take, thinking about dinner. Katie made a lot of food for the Super Bowl, so I'm thinking maybe I can have a couple of fried eggs on the leftover pizza we've got.

Suddenly my thoughts stop, though I continue walking past the puddles of melting snow, and the podcast I'm playing continues to yammer in my ears. Is this what my life has become? I think to myself, without breaking stride.

You've Been Warned

"I got to tell Jonathan about the cat almost throwing up on your head this morning," Katie says.

"And I had to throw her off the bed, and the dog ate...," I start.

"NO - I ate hot dog salad for dinner and it is not sitting well," Katie says. "Also, do not Google 'hot dog salad."