Sunday, November 18, 2018

Uphill Climb

I hustle through the subway underground, late to my shift, walking as fast as I can laden down with more merchandise, when I suddenly become acutely aware of my thoughts.

Specifically, every unkind thought, every prejudice, every impatient hoot and howl of my monkey mind as I try to get where I’m going while the entire world seems indifferent to my crucial need.

She walks too slow, he bumped me, he didn’t get out of my way, he gave me a dirty look as I went by,  she’s fat, he looks like a criminal, why does a person in a wheelchair need to be getting in my way, what kind of, how dare he, what a goddamn... etc., etc., etc., ad infinitum, ad nauseam, until I am sick of myself, sick of my thoughts, tired of being me.

I get to the bottom of the stairs, take a deep breath, try to compose myself, try to calm down, take one step, start to climb out of the subway, out of the underground, up into the light.

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