Thursday, January 7, 2016


The argument about how to dispose of the Christmas tree (I thought it was wasteful to use so much tape to wrap it up in a tarp before dragging it down the stairs, she thought I was an idiot) has ended, predictably, with me being mostly wrong, and to make up for it, I'm vacuuming up shameful pine needle evidence of my wrong-ness from the stairs.

I'm boogieing along oblivious, pushing the roaring vacuum back and forth on the second floor landing of our building, when our downstairs neighbor pops out of her apartment and says, "Hi."

I make an undignified sound and jump, turn around, see her, and jump again, a little higher.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry, that is literally my nightmare," she says as I try to regain my composure.

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