Tuesday, October 14, 2014


1. When the red-headed woman with the thick calves stops leaning on the subway pole to adjust her bag, slide your hand down the pole so that when she tries to resume her rude leaning, your fist is in the way at approximately the small of her back, making it extremely uncomfortable for her.

2. She will glare at you, but you should continue to read your book as if nothing out of the ordinary has occurred.

3. Since she will be aware that she was in breech of basic subway etiquette by taking up a pole that is supposed to be for EVERYONE, she will be unable to say anything to you, and will end up with her arms crossed, swaying to the motion of the train and occasionally stepping to one side or another to keep her balance as if she is dancing angrily, because she refuses to grab the pole like a normal person.

4. On your connecting train, when the ash-blonde lady with the upturned nose tries to pull the same leaning-up-against the pole nonsense, shut her down by repeating the above strategy, and smile inwardly to yourself as she fumes.

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