Dark night. Spent most it laying on my bed, trying to think of an unambiguous reason to do anything. Read an article that discussed why it was a bad idea to anticipate negative outcomes, but the darkness in my head plays tricks on me, telling me no one loves, no one cares, saying I've already failed.
In fact, it was Katie that lifted me from my funk, or the thought of her, since I couldn't stand having her think less of me because I had done nothing, because I'd let myself go.
I shook my head, like a dog shakes off water, and got to work.