Out of Work

Katie's been at work all day, and I went out tonight, so we haven't seen each other all day.

"I've decided I don't like being at home by myself," I say. "It makes me sad."

"Welcome to my world," Katie sings.

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One year ago: Making Do In The Deluge

Two years ago: Time Bully

Three years ago: Signs of Age

Four years ago: What Took You So Long?

Dance Like Nobody You Know Is Watching

Our new friend at the office party comes back from the DJ booth. "He said, 'If I play a line dance, are you gonna do it?' and I went like this," sassy face.

Then, through the speakers, coming over the air like an air raid, blasts out the goddamn Cha-Cha Slide, and I am not a quitter, so I do my cha-cha, even though I occasionally have trouble telling my left from my right. 

What the hell, I'm never gonna see most of these people again, right?

------------------------

One year ago: I Got This

Two years ago: What Are You Running From?

Three years ago: Teddy's "Rescue"

Four years ago: Putting It Kindly

Spot the Difference

We come away from the elementary school with our "I Voted" stickers slapped proudly on our chests, prepared to run the gauntlet of candidates and their surrogates up 7th Avenue, but since they saw us go in to vote, they mostly leave us alone.

Here, however, tired look on her face but still game and ready to engage, is one of the candidates both Katie and I voted for, holding a sign with her campaign slogan and her picture.

Except it's not her, it's her sister, and the actual candidate is standing over there, a few feet away, where she's talking with Katie, who wasn't fooled, while I try to smooth over my awkwardness.

"Oh, I see your hair's a little different," I say, not really making it better.
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One year ago: Yes It Is
Two years ago: Momento Mori
Three years ago: It Was Totally Different
Four years ago: Bookworm

A Question For The Ages

"So with The Get Down the question is, does a seriously inferior second season, or second part of a season, invalidate what came earlier?" I ask over my shoulder while I'm doing dishes.

"Well let me ask you: how do you feel about the ending of How I Met Your Mother?" Katie replies.

"I'm sorry," I say slowly, turning around to face her where she stands in the doorway to the kitchen with a smug smile on her face. "We don't say that name in this house."
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One year ago: The Rich Aren't Like You and Me
Two years ago: In Vino Veritas
Three years ago: Not a Good Fit
Four years ago: To Be Fair, They Were Kind of Hidden

Chicken

Some couples play board games, we have "toothpaste chicken": a high-stakes game of nerves where we squeeze the last remaining dabs of paste out of the tube until one of us caves and buys another.

But lo and behold, here, perched on the edge of the sink, all plump and pretty, is a brand new tube of toothpaste that I didn't buy.

"Remember that time we both bought toothpaste on the same day?" Katie says by way of explanation. "I was looking for a travel sized tube just now and I kept picking that one up and putting it aside," indicating the new tube, "not even seeing it as toothpaste."
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One year ago: Burning Off Karma
Two years ago: A Discourse On Beauty
Three years ago: Slipped My Mind
Four years ago: Acting Like An Extrovert

The Truth Hurts Sales

One of the vendors at the flea is selling typewriters, and a tween kid is tapping away while the guy selling is away from his booth.

A few minutes later, after the kid's mom has gently guided the kid away, the vendor comes over, clutching the paper from the typewriter like some oracle of doom.

"'Is there so much despair in my life because I expect it to be fair?'" the vendor reads from the page. "I feel like I should find the guy, tell him, 'This is yours, 'cause I don't want it,'" he continues.
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One year ago: We Got a Problem?
Two years ago: Call It the Blues, I Guess
Three years ago: They Ran Out of "I Voted" Stickers
Four years ago: Orpheus

Overstimulation

"Yo, you can't fuck with that Mountain Dew, man," the large, heavy-set black man in the gray t-shirt says.

"Nah, but sometimes I like to get like a couple Red Bull, and drink that?" says the latino guy in the black rimmed glasses.

His friend throws his head back, saying, "Man, Red Bull is even worse!"

"I love these two guys," I say to Katie, who nods emphatically without making eye contact.
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One year ago: They Would Have Seen It Anyways
Two years ago: It's True
Three years ago: Blue Flavored
Four years ago: Cloudbusting