Paranoia

Tan coat and bad shave doesn't hold the door for the person behind him after he exits the building, and it swings closed forcefully, but I'm just able to catch it with a grumble before it hits me in the face and I follow him out onto the street.

Not that I'm following him, understand, just that we're going in the same direction down the same street at the same time, so when he reaches the line of cop cars parked in front of the doughnut shop, I'm there to see him wave to each car as he passes; a strange sort of little-boy wave, all wrist and hand, and he's looking into each car, trying to make eye contact as he goes.

I pull one ear bud out to hear what he's saying when he stops to chat with some regular looking guy on the sidewalk.

"...and they're always within five hundred feet of wherever I am," he says, pointing to the cop cars, "I don't know why."

So This is Christmas

I'm decorating the tree, lighting the candles, singing along full-throated with the playlist of carols my computer has been kind enough to find for me, when unasked for and unwanted, apropos of nothing, a vision of Aleppo comes into my head.

A family huddles in the dark, somewhere, far away, waiting for dawn, while footsteps outside go door to door with ill intent; every few minutes a bomb goes off with a dull thump close enough to feel the concussion through their bodies like a second, bullying heartbeat.

Later, I'm walking the dog down a cold Brooklyn street, and one of the guys who spare-changes on the corner walks by carrying a bedroll with a, "How you doing, big guy?"

"Right on," I say, for some reason.
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One year ago today: Rough Trade
Two years ago today: Fickle
Three years ago today: Just Keep Dancing
Six years ago today: 12/13/10 Passing time
Nine years ago today: 12-13-07 - Where Christmas lights come from

Sleeper Car

On the subway on the way home from the office holiday party, three guys sit opposite us, while one sits next to us. All of them wear black ski caps, and one says something in Spanish before handing his phone across the aisle to the one sitting next to us to show him a video.

I don't watch, though. Katie rests her head on my shoulder and falls asleep, and I rest my head on top of her head, the heat of her aliveness warming my ear through her hair, until I fall asleep, too.
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One year ago today: Dogs Make Friends
Two years ago today: Memory
Three years ago today: The Cat Saves the Day
Six years ago today: 12/12/10 God doesn't mind if you have a good time
Nine years ago today: 12-12-07 - metrocard athlete

Christmas Brass

We've been standing here for at least fifteen minutes, but the men and women carrying tubas keep filing out onto the stage on the ice at Rockefeller Center, right in front of the gold statue of Prometheus. The giant Christmas tree towers above them, green and glittering multi-colored beneath a cold gray sky, swaying in the light breeze that swirls flurries of snow around us.

I'm so excited to hear Christmas carols played by a choir of tubas that I'm bouncing up and down, and Katie twists around in the tight crowd surrounding us and laughs at me.

"We're so lucky," I say, squeezing her as tight as I can.
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Two years ago today: Memory
Three years ago today: He's Got My Back
Six years ago today: 12/11/10 a conversation at a party - 2:30 AM
Nine(!) years ago today: 12-11-07 - There is no good in tarot cards.

Accelerate Out of Danger

Flatbush Avenue is not bike friendly.

The traffic roars down Flatbush as it cuts across the borough like a diesel cataract, and I am utterly inconsequential to the buses, trucks, taxis, towncars; to the double parkers, the close passers, the door openers. And yet, for all that, I am not afraid.

At 6th Avenue, traffic trying to get across the intersection gets caught in the middle of the street, making it impossible for the flow going crossways to move, but I know better, and I weave through the honking cars that point every which way, just to keep my momentum, knowing I am only safe when I move, and the faster I go, the safer I will be.
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One year ago today: Mea Culpa
Two years ago today: I'll Be Fine Tomorrow
Three years ago today: Among Other Things (But Not Many)
Six years ago today: 12/10/10 Sometimes I get carried away

The Physics of Fire

The text from Katie reads, "5 alarm fire 2 blocks from apt!"

"On my way down," I text back, slip on my boots and my coat, and head out.

When I get down, flashing lights illuminate the whole street, but the worst seems to be over even though the ladder is still up to the 5th floor and the occasional gust of white billows out from where the fire department broke a window to get in.

We stand in the cold and debate whether it's smoke or water vapor, but Katie finally settles it, saying, "If it was water, it would fall down, at these temperatures, but since it only goes up, it has to be smoke." 

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One year ago today: Phone Snatchers Abound in Midtown

Two years ago today: Morning Luck

Three years ago today: Good Guy Brain

Six years ago today: 12/9/10 late nights in the slope

Colossus

Headphones again as I leave work, this time Sonny Rollins and Saxophone Colossus, recorded in 1956 in Hackensack, NJ. As the first notes of "You Don't Know What Love Is" cry out, the stoplight changes, I feel a pause, a shift, and suddenly I'm in another city. Not another city, but the same city, New York City, the greatest city, but in the late 50s: the economy is booming, and the city is constantly surprising itself with its ability to be, not just a city, but a haven for creativity and commerce.

I stride down powerful sidewalks to the soundtrack of another era, and I am suddenly a time traveller, transported to a past full of promise and beauty, watching cars roar into the future down Lexington Avenue, as I walk into the past.

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One year ago today: Overheard at Work

Two years ago today: Somebody to Talk to At the Office Party

Three years ago today: Dad Jokes at the Wine Shop