Pretty Sure

"The problem with your 'experiments,'" she says, "is that you always forget one crucial detail. Like, 'Surprise! Kratom is a crazy addictive opioid that'll take years to recover from.'"

"I'm pretty sure that only one study says that Yerba Mate can give you throat cancer," I reply, back pedaling madly, "and only if you also use a lot of alcohol and tobacco, which I don't."